This is my first post in awhile, for I was still grieving the loss of my beloved aunt, when my dad died of Parkinson’s in March. And I found myself sunk even deeper in the quicksand of depression. Writing is therapeutic, but I was so locked in grief that I couldn’t write. Grief and depression are a bitch. But now, finally and shakily, I write. Saying … Continue reading the story "My Father and the Holocaust"
Post Archives from the ‘Cancer’ Category
After a harrowing few years filled with suffering from end-stage Parkinson's disease, his days are finally coming to an end. My dad has stopped eating, and now all my family can do is sit and wait. For a doctor’s phone call. Understandably, this is a difficult time for my family, made even more difficult by the people who are supposed to make things easier -- medical … Continue reading the story "My Father’s Dying; They Just Turn Their Backs"
Awhile ago, I wrote a post about those breast cancer support group members who were more of an albatross to me than a help. You can read about it here. Within the last year or so, two of the three offending, most insidious group members, D and S, contacted me. As I haven’t had … Continue reading the story "I’m Not Your Punching Bag"
For 2018, I’m continuing the tradition that fellow blogger Philippa Ramsden started: blogging about the three words that will guide me this year. (To check out Philippa’s three words for 2018, click here.) As my readers know, 2017 witnessed me getting laid off and losing my beloved aunt soon after. My precious aunt was … Continue reading the story "2018: My Three Words"
I don’t remember all my cancerversary dates. But I remember December 26 all too well. Like it was yesterday. It was the beginning of my cancer nightmare. Weeks before this date, I found a weird-but-subtle dimple on my right breast during my monthly breast self exam. My doctor said “It is probably nothing,” but he wrote a referral for a diagnostic mammogram “just to be on the … Continue reading the story "Twelve Twenty-Six"
These days, I’m feeling guilty. My father is faring badly hundreds of miles away. My mom’s anguish is palpable. I’ve been frantically advocating for him and trying to calm her down. All by phone. I have to be prepared to leave to Florida at a moment’s notice. But lately, and -- this is the crux of my guilt -- I’ve been having fun. I feel I’m a poor … Continue reading the story "Guilty Pleasures"
As my readers know, 2017 has been a real crucible for me. Let’s face it, I’m ready to put 2017 in the books and welcome 2018 wholeheartedly. As someone who has experienced steadfast grief, sadness, and emotional duress in 2017 -- with the lowest points being my aunt’s death and the up-and-down-and-down health of my father -- my heart has repeatedly been torn … Continue reading the story "Coping Tools"
My dad is slipping away, ever so slowly. His Parkinson’s disease is now impeding his swallowing. I’ve been frantically calling his speech therapist, who is working hard with him on improving his ability to swallow. As of today, he’s dehydrated and on IV fluids. As of today, he has pneumonia and has had blood drawn. According to my mom, he doesn’t talk much anymore. My … Continue reading the story "Slipping Away"
In the United States, we are about to celebrate Thanksgiving, a national holiday where we get together for a meal with our loved ones and reflect about what we are grateful for. Personally, I don’t just save my gratitude thoughts just for Thanksgiving; I am grateful for many things year-round. But 2017 found me challenged to find things to be grateful for. It has been a … Continue reading the story "Thankful"
About two weeks before Aunt Helene suddenly died, she requested something of me (unbeknownst to all of us, it was her final request of me). “Hon, I’m still waiting for you to send me those pictures….” Then we both laughed because she knew I’m not the fastest at such requests. In fact, like so many people, I get busy with life, but, nevertheless, I … Continue reading the story "Pictures"