Post Archives from the ‘Grief, Healing, Guilt, Loss of Control’ Category



Thankful

Posted on: November 22nd, 2017 by
12

In the United States, we are about to celebrate Thanksgiving, a national holiday where we get together for a meal with our loved ones and reflect about what we are grateful for. Personally, I don’t just save my gratitude thoughts just for Thanksgiving; I am grateful for many things year-round. But 2017 found me challenged to find things to be grateful for. It has been a Continue reading the story "Thankful"

Pictures

Posted on: August 31st, 2017 by
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About two weeks before Aunt Helene suddenly died, she requested something of me (unbeknownst to all of us, it was her final request of me). “Hon, I’m still waiting for you to send me those pictures….” Then we both laughed because she knew I’m not the fastest at such requests. In fact, like so many people, I get busy with life, but, nevertheless, I Continue reading the story "Pictures"

Aunt Helene

Posted on: August 25th, 2017 by
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Helene's 50th Many in the online community got the news a week ago, August 18. My precious Aunt Helene died earlier that day. While her health was diminishing slowly, her sudden death came as a huge surprise to us. I am having such a difficult time coping, and I have never felt such searing, raw emotional pain. I Continue reading the story "Aunt Helene"

Chasing Lincoln

Posted on: August 1st, 2017 by
12

Lincoln I’ve really been off the grid for the past three months. So many setbacks and upheaval going on in my life that it’s been almost impossible to focus on one of the things I love doing most in the world: writing. So here, then, is my first blog post of many to come. My favorite United Continue reading the story "Chasing Lincoln"

Cancer Was Not a Gift & It Didn’t Make Me a Better Person: A Review

Posted on: May 13th, 2016 by
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Nancy Memoir Truth. That’s what you will find in Nancy Stordahl’s memoir Cancer Was Not a Gift & It Didn’t Make Me a Better Person: A Memoir About Cancer as I Know It. The book’s title is telling: Stordahl exposes the ugliness that breast cancer really is. In a culture of pinkwashing and stories about how breast Continue reading the story "Cancer Was Not a Gift & It Didn’t Make Me a Better Person: A Review"

In Sickness and In Health

Posted on: May 22nd, 2015 by
12

My cats Hemi and Cosette have been with me for years, and I’ve been blessed: they have been relatively healthy. Until last week. It started with my beloved Cosette. She suddenly lost her appetite, had diarrhea, was lethargic, and withdrew. No interest in sleeping in momma’s bed. I tried coaxing her to eat, and when that didn’t work, I called the veterinarian for advice and Continue reading the story "In Sickness and In Health"

How Do I Distrust? Let Me Count the Ways….

Posted on: August 1st, 2013 by
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As is the case for many people affected by breast cancer, this disease has claimed my trust. I don’t entirely trust my body. It has betrayed me and can betray me again. I sometimes reside in hell, where aches and pains and the scary results of a bone scan assail me with fears of recurrence. Prior to cancer I believed if I ate healthy foods Continue reading the story "How Do I Distrust? Let Me Count the Ways…."

Cancer as Dictator

Posted on: July 23rd, 2013 by
6

This piece is based on my diagnosis and treatment years ago. One of the issues people with a serious illness face is that feeling of life spinning out of control. To this day, I have control issues, especially when seeing my doctors, and it stems from my breast cancer experience. “You will see the oncologist on this date,” my chemo nurse politely tells me. “But I have Continue reading the story "Cancer as Dictator"

The Bird Whisperer

Posted on: July 18th, 2013 by
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Last week, Ari and I were in Florida visiting my parents. It was partly a much-needed vacation. The day after my daughter and I arrived, we all got in my rent-a-car and made a beeline to Miami and saw some sights. We stayed a couple of days, and it felt good to finally have a vacation, albeit too short. It was good to get away. But when Continue reading the story "The Bird Whisperer"

Moving Out, Moving On

Posted on: May 15th, 2013 by
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Dazed and downcast, I sit on a box the movers set down at my new apartment. One of them tells me, “Why are you so sad? Your life’s just beginning! I’m divorced, and my life is the happiest ever. Yours will be, too.” I wonder if he is on crack. Happiest ever? I will never be happy again. I’m also upset that the movers know too much Continue reading the story "Moving Out, Moving On"