Post Archives from the ‘Grief, Healing, Guilt, Loss of Control’ Category

In Sickness and In Health

Posted on: May 22nd, 2015 by

My cats Hemi and Cosette have been with me for years, and I’ve been blessed: they have been relatively healthy. Until last week. It started with my beloved Cosette. She suddenly lost her appetite, had diarrhea, was lethargic, and withdrew. No interest in sleeping in momma’s bed. I tried coaxing her to eat, and when that didn’t work, I called the veterinarian for advice and Continue reading the story "In Sickness and In Health"

How Do I Distrust? Let Me Count the Ways….

Posted on: August 1st, 2013 by

As is the case for many people affected by breast cancer, this disease has claimed my trust. I don’t entirely trust my body. It has betrayed me and can betray me again. I sometimes reside in hell, where aches and pains and the scary results of a bone scan assail me with fears of recurrence. Prior to cancer I believed if I ate healthy foods Continue reading the story "How Do I Distrust? Let Me Count the Ways…."

Cancer as Dictator

Posted on: July 23rd, 2013 by

This piece is based on my diagnosis and treatment years ago. One of the issues people with a serious illness face is that feeling of life spinning out of control. To this day, I have control issues, especially when seeing my doctors, and it stems from my breast cancer experience. “You will see the oncologist on this date,” my chemo nurse politely tells me. “But I have Continue reading the story "Cancer as Dictator"

The Bird Whisperer

Posted on: July 18th, 2013 by

Last week, Ari and I were in Florida visiting my parents. It was partly a much-needed vacation. The day after my daughter and I arrived, we all got in my rent-a-car and made a beeline to Miami and saw some sights. We stayed a couple of days, and it felt good to finally have a vacation, albeit too short. It was good to get away. But when Continue reading the story "The Bird Whisperer"

Moving Out, Moving On

Posted on: May 15th, 2013 by

Dazed and downcast, I sit on a box the movers set down at my new apartment. One of them tells me, “Why are you so sad? Your life’s just beginning! I’m divorced, and my life is the happiest ever. Yours will be, too.” I wonder if he is on crack. Happiest ever? I will never be happy again. I’m also upset that the movers know too much Continue reading the story "Moving Out, Moving On"


Posted on: April 25th, 2012 by

Just two days ago, a former co-worker at a former company informed me that our former boss died from lung cancer.  She was 62. I simply couldn't believe it. My former boss was so vibrant and alive. She was too young for cancer. Continue reading the story "Shock"

Cancer is a Liar

Posted on: March 4th, 2012 by

"Enjoy your daughter."These haunting words came from one of my dearest friends. She had just told me that her leukemia had returned. She had reminded me how important it is to enjoy the blessings in my own life.Our conversation reminded me Continue reading the story "Cancer is a Liar"

In Memoriam

Posted on: February 8th, 2012 by

Early this week, the world lost two incredible women to breast cancer, Rachel Cheetham Moro and Susan Niebur. These women's presence was deeply felt on the blogosphere, but most importantly, we in the online community came to regard them as friends. Continue reading the story "In Memoriam"

Medical Bait and Switch

Posted on: November 8th, 2011 by

Just a few weeks ago, I used my medical group's walk-in service because of a nasty bout of bronchitis. Little did I know the appointment would feel like a rollercoaster derailing, thanks to medical staff's unwillingness inability to communicate to their patients effectively. As I was checking in, a receptionist said coldly and matter-of-factly, "Oh, and here's Continue reading the story "Medical Bait and Switch"

Faun and Me

Posted on: October 1st, 2011 by

Well, it's officially Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and I've decided to kick off the month by not waiting until October 13 to discuss metastatic breast cancer. Because metastatic breast cancer is what kills and therefore should be at the forefront of the discussions and research on breast cancer. And because mets should not be short-changed by having only one day of this Continue reading the story "Faun and Me"