“A house divided against itself cannot stand.” -- Abraham Lincoln We who’ve been hit with the cancer bomb are now part of a community we never wanted to be part of in the first place. We should be unified. But we are not always unified. We should find comfort from each other. But often we do not. Take … Continue reading the story "Competing in Cancerland"
Post Archives from the ‘Cancer’ Category
The train eases into the early morning fog. Other commuters are lulled to sleep on their way to work. I slothily lean my head against the window and look out, exhausted. But I cannot sleep. Outside, blurred lights blink past me. All I think is, “What the hell just happened?” The train’s route is clear, … Continue reading the story "Radiation Fallout"
True to my word, after I pressed the Publish button on my post on March 3, I picked up the phone and made an appointment for my brain MRI. Prior to that date, I had been stalling. At several points I had frantically told myself and friends and my psychotherapist and anyone who would … Continue reading the story "Afraid, Acted Anyway"
These are the words I recently heard from a medical assistant at a neurologist’s office. After providing my extensive paperwork that listed all the medications I was taking, as well as my medical history, this girl was irritating the hell out of me. She kept asking for information that I clearly stated on the medical … Continue reading the story "‘I Bet You’re Proud You Beat Cancer’"
I’ve been off the grid lately, but not because of writing gridlock. It’s because of exciting news: on February 4, my daughter and I moved into a larger house, one with more than one bathroom (finally, yay!). So instead of writing for the past couple of months, I’ve been packing with the help of my … Continue reading the story "Heart Is Where the Home Is"
I’ve been away from the blogosphere for awhile now. What kept me away was a perfect storm of being super busy, the horrific U.S. election and its even more horrific results -- and the failing health and recent death of my beloved cat Cosette. It’s fitting I write about Cosette today, as it’s the 10th anniversary of … Continue reading the story "Cosette"
When I was a teenager, I wished my active imagination would always stay vivid. Unfortunately, that wish came true. *** Being diagnosed and treated for cancer unleashes a maelstrom of emotions. But lately I have been wondering if a cancer experience heightens our imagination. We imagine our deaths. We imagine our physical pain and suffering even before we … Continue reading the story "Cancer and the Imagination"
I have many pet peeves in Cancerland. During my diagnosis and treatment, people told me to stay positive. Well, this advice harmed me, as I needed to cry and feel miserable. Those who told me to stay positive negated my fears and denied my feelings. Other individuals spouted that God couldn’t give me more than … Continue reading the story "‘Everything Happens for a Reason’"
I rested my head against the window, as the train car’s soothing motion lulled other morning commuters to sleep. I was uneasy: It was my first day back to work after cancer treatment had ended, and I was officially a survivor. While I was lucky to have survived thus far, I hadn’t had a clue about … Continue reading the story "Cancer Harbors: A Safe Harbor for Cancer Survivors"
Once upon a pre-breast cancer time, a physician paid me a high compliment. “You do better breast exams than most doctors,” he said. And I think he was right. Every month I performed the same ritual: a thorough breast self-exam, including the look-at-your-breasts-in-the-mirror test. Although I always dreaded the idea of something possibly being wrong, I examined my breasts thoroughly and regularly. Until a breast self exam … Continue reading the story "Re-Acquainting Myself With the Breast Self Exam"