Lori Marx-Rubiner and Jason Brown

Posted on: August 7th, 2017 by

For many, the past few weeks have been filled with grief from losing people to cancer. Even though I’ve never met these individuals in person, I feel privileged to have been a part of their world in some way in the online community. And although I’ve never met them, I feel I knew them, and my grief is deep. And real. Our relationships were real. That’s what the online community does: it enables us to get to know many people we may never have otherwise met and, if we are lucky enough, gets us to take things many steps further by meeting them in person. Whether online or in person or a combination of both, we are there for each other and support each other through the good times and the bad.

And lately these have been bad, trying times. I and the rest of our community have been hit hard by these lives gone too soon by the asshole disease known as cancer.

This post is about one of those who recently died from metastatic breast cancer, Lori Marx-Rubiner, a fierce advocate. AnneMarie Ciccarella, who was a close friend to Lori — in person and online — wrote a moving tribute to her, as did Dr. Deanna Attai, who also knew Lori well. I wish I had met Lori in person. But, through the online cancer community, it really doesn’t take long to figure out what a person is like. And from the first time Lori and I communicated, I knew she was wonderful.

I got to know Lori during #BCSM chats and her blog Regrounding. We immediately hit it off. She and I would wish each other a happy Rosh Hashana. And we had another thing in common: we both loved Jason Brown, a remarkably talented figure skater. Jason Brown happens to be my favorite men’s skater. I love his unique style and flexibility. He always is genuine, down to earth, and really nice, with a great smile that lights up any room.

Like Lori.

Turns out, Jason happens to be related to Lori and even taught her son a few things about skating. So here Lori and I were, during a #BCSM chat, waxing poetic about Jason Brown. We both agreed that his long program routine, Riverdance, was spanking fantastic. If you haven’t seen it, please do; it’s a real treat. Whenever I’ve watched Jason Brown perform, I’ve thought of Lori. And I will continue to do so. Brown is vying for a spot in the Olympics in 2018. I hope his Olympic dreams come true.

I wish Lori were still alive to see all of her dreams come true.

I am overwhelmed by the emotional pain of losing Lori, and I often think of her husband and son. I pray for them and hope they feel the circle of love surrounding them.

I must go now.

Here’s the video. Lori, this one is for you:

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6 Responses to Lori Marx-Rubiner and Jason Brown

  1. Kathi had this to say about that:

    <3 It's these commonalities, besides breast cancer, that we discover about one another that really cement the bonds we form in our amazing online community. Lovely post, Beth. So many of us will miss Lori for so many reaaons.

    • Beth L. Gainer had this to say about that:


      I totally agree. Although we all have breast cancer in common, unfortunately, it’s amazing how much we are all similar. These bonds are so strong, and I’m grateful for crossing paths with everyone in our wonderful online community.

      Thank you for your comment.

  2. Lisa Plotnick had this to say about that:

    What an amazing skater! Lori will continue to be proud, I’m sure. And I will think of her whenever I watch him.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts about your friend. May her memory be a blessing.


    • Beth L. Gainer had this to say about that:

      Lisa, thank you for your wonderful words. Yes, Jason Brown is a great skater; I love watching him!

  3. Nancy Stordahl had this to say about that:

    Hi Beth,
    I didn’t know Lori very well, but I knew her well enough to know she was a lovely, intelligent, caring person. And she was a fierce advocate. I’ve been thinking about her husband and son a lot. Such heartache. Again. Your post is just lovely, Beth. Thank you. xo

    • Beth L. Gainer had this to say about that:

      Yes, Nancy, Lori was a special person, indeed. Her death breaks my heart and is a true tragedy.

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