True to my word, after I pressed the Publish button on my post on March 3, I picked up the phone and made an appointment for my brain MRI. Prior to that date, I had been stalling. At several points I had frantically told myself and friends and my psychotherapist and anyone who would … Continue reading the story "Afraid, Acted Anyway"
Post Archives tagged ‘fear and cancer’
Pressure. I’m under the pressure of living up to others’ expectations of what a cancer survivor should be. Over the years, well-meaning people’s comments have stirred these feelings -- from saying I was courageous to have faced cancer to telling me there was a divine reason I survived. Got Courage? I don’t. I want to run away from that hero-on-a-pedestal sculpture people have made of me and now … Continue reading the story "Running On Empty"
“But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen…” -- T.S. Eliot, “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” I’ve been at it again. Doing what I do so well. Postponing visits to my doctors. I have no excuse – except that I’m scared shitless. Adding insult to injury, because of my procrastination, my medical appointments will now pile up like a multicar wreck. I’m … Continue reading the story "No More Magic Lanterns, Please"